Attachment Strategies, Parenting Tips, Parenting<3

Ten minutes a day keeps the tantrums away

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10 minutes a day creates secure connection and attachment

 

Ten Minutes a Day keeps the Tantrums Away!!

Did you know in just ten minutes a day, you can not only keep those tantrums away but you can also have a totally different kid??  Want to find out how.  It really is easy.  Recently, I was reading a bunch of parenting articles.  It was actually in preparation for this post.  I was trying to find out the psychological reasoning behind why it really only takes 10 minutes a day to create a deeper connection with your child.  I was reading some of the comments when I came across one from a new mother who was horrified that the blogger was encouraging only 10 minutes of connection rather than an hour per parent per child.  And you know as a new mom I probably would have been the same way if I wasn’t in university and working, and now a mom of three girls.   I have also come to realize that sometimes 10 minutes per kid per day seems almost unattainable.  So if you are ready to read on how to create that deeper connection in just ten minutes a day to keep the tantrums away keep reading!!

Sometimes, I find parenting overwhelming

Being a parent reminds me a lot of a children’s book called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day.  If you haven’t read it, it’s a story about everything that goes wrong in a day for poor Alexander.  He gets gum in his hair, he gets in trouble at school, he has a cavity, he gets in a fight with his friend.  On and on it goes with poor Alexander’s day getting worse and worse.  I feel like sometimes as parents we can relate.  Our children are into everything and anything we do just doesn’t seem to help.    And sometimes it is hard to keep our cool and calm about us. Many times when my patience is wearing thin, or I am tired, or I’m feeling stressed or anxious. I yell. Or start barking out orders like a drill Sargent. It’s like that joke for teachers when dealing with their families; Don’t make me use my teacher voice on you!! It’s during this time that I lose my connection with my girls. As attachment parents we don’t want that.

So, when today went off without a hitch and I had only done one thing differently…

 

I knew I was on to something. The girls spent most of today playing together with very little disagreements.  Quiet time this afternoon went off without a hitch. To end the day the girls were asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows!  With no fights. No whining. And no tears. Toys were shared.  Routines complete.  So what was different??  What changed from our terrible awful no good day to today?  I’ll let you in on the best parenting secret ever; special time!

Special Time  (Ten Minutes a Day keeps the tantrums away!!)

I came across some information a little while ago that changed my parenting completely. It has been proven through psychologists that ten minutes a day will change the connection with your kids completely!!  They say what if you spend just ten minutes at the end of the day connecting with your littles will help create a close connection with your kids.  So of course I decided to give it a try and came to find that it was true.  Now I wasn’t doing special time at the end of the day but rather the beginning.

And you know what?? The days that I am on top of doing special time the girls are better behaved and are a lot more fun to be around because no one is bickering and everyone is willing to share and compromise and just be kinder. The important thing is consistency. I am going to sound like an infomercial but in as little as ten minutes you can have a changed kid.

time for special time

Why ten minutes??

Our babies crave our attention. They want to know that they are just as important as the “important” stuff that goes on in our lives. So when you take ten minutes during the day to connect and to fill your babes buckets they are filled with love which in turn leads to a happier child.
All that is required for you as a parent during special time is to let your child lead and be with them one on one! Let your little take charge for a change!  Ditch your cell phone, TV, Fit Bit, iPad, computer… hmm what other technology devices are popular… fill in the blank and be present with your child.  Allow your child to take the lead and develop the conversation around what they want to talk about and they are interested in.

What We Do:

I used to use electronics like watching 10 minutes of a show together but I felt like this hindered our opportunity to really connect so I kiboshed that plan and came up with another.  So I do special time in the morning because then I make sure that my littles’ buckets of love are filled to the brim at the beginning of the day.  Whoever wakes up first gets to go first.  Many times the other children will join in and play together while I get the morning chores done.  Usually one of the girls wants to cook with me and so I use that opportunity to create special time with the child who missed out in the morning.  Other times however they choose Barbies, coloring, or helping with chores that I am in the middle of doing when we can sneak off from the other girls! Whatever they choose is up to them.  But truly all that matters is that I’m fully present! It might not always be fun or interesting for me, but consistently setting aside the time to be interested and available helps develop that close bond and relationship so much!

creating connection through special time

Many times during special time Big girl will talk to me about her fears or concerns. She will tell me about the dreams she’s had or the nightmares. Curly girl mostly ends up smiling and laughing a lot, which then leads to more hugs and kisses.  And who doesn’t want that!? And babykins, well special time with her is fun to see a mischievous personality start to blossom and develop as she dive bombs into me and then laughs hysterically.

So, Why Do It?

Our babies need our time where we aren’t bombarded by electronics or technology or even jobs that steal our precious free moments. Our babes want to be included and when they are, friendships and close bonds begin to grow. When my girls feel closer to me they open up more and tell me what goes on in their lives whether it be for the good or bad. So if you want to end the bickering matches, the tattling, the sighing complete with eye rolling (big girl’s favorite), and fighting to get them to do the chores; just give them your time!

Now a word of warning

When you first start doing special time they might act up for the first couple of days because they aren’t used to getting the attention and want more of it. Stay consistent friend and as you do your babes will start to mellow out and become happier!

So remember. Ten minutes with one child at a time with undivided attention. Let the child take the lead. Be consistent. And there you have it friend!! A happier child in just ten minutes a day!!

Because oh puh-lease!! You’ve got this momma!!

 

Do you do special time?  What are some of your favorite special time activities?

 

 

 

 

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