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Be The Change
Growing up I went to a charter school that focused heavily on character development. I remember one of the classroom walls was decorated with the quote, “Be The Change You Wish To See In The World” and I used to really wonder if one voice or one person could truly make any difference at all. How could that shy girl in the corner with low self-esteem make any impression on all the other people competing to be the center of attention?? And then those questions were answered when I became a mom.
Our house got hit quickly with the flu this past week bouncing from one girl to the next until Momma caught it too and I was literally out for the day. I laid on the floor in my pyjamas my hair a mess and watched the clock waiting for the minutes to tick by. It is like with any stomach flu, the only cure truly is waiting for the time to pass. I was miserable to say the least and my whole body ached and hurt. Big Girl kept looking over at me to what I thought was because she was worried about me but then she said something that totally took me aback. “Mommy, where did your smile go?? I miss it!!” And it was then that I realized I hadn’t smiled all day. But the even bigger lesson learned was that my girls relied on my smile and happiness to get throughout their days. I had become an example for them on what it meant to find joy in the journey even when our life’s circumstances may be less than desirable.
As I thought about that in relation to being the change of the world I reflected on how if I wanted a positive change in my home that I myself needed to be the change. Recently, I talked about establishing family rules in our home and how it is going to be a one step change at a time but I thought before I could really introduce the ideas I had for change that I myself needed to work on them. I talked about it before, but truly I can’t stress enough the importance of modelling the appropriate behaviour. If I am not willing to be respectful towards my girls even when they are pushing every limit than how can I expect that they will be respectful towards me??
To be honest, I even challenged this belief by asking my girls to hold me accountable. This meant that when I was being snappy or grumpy in my responses that they could let me know and I would be willing to make the change. And so of course they were up for the challenge. An opportunity to correct mom when she was making mistakes without getting in trouble, yes please!! And you know something miraculous happened. As I started to change my behaviour and my responses towards my girls. They changed as well. We still get the push back and it is still daily lessons of what needs to be worked on but as everyone strives to be more respectful we have all become part of the change that needs to happen.
It’s up to us to Be The Change
But that isn’t the only lesson that was brought through changing my responses in regards to my girls. Big Girl has become more communicative with me about her inner thoughts and workings. She now will seek me out and talk to me about her life and what she thinks. This conversation changed my heart and made me all the more willing to do better as Big Girl looked at me as I was listening to a video for a blogging course I am taking. “Mommy, are those girls mommies like you?” “Yup, I think so.” “I want you to go on stage like that and inspire other mommies to be good and kind.” There are no words to even describe how that made my heart feel. My Big Girl was happiest and happier as I sought to be better.
Now, please don’t think I am telling you this to brag. Rather I hope and pray, it inspires you to know within your heart that the little daily changes that you make in your life will inspire both you and your children to become better. Whether they will admit it or not your littles love you and admire you. They look up to you to be an example. They will become as you are, and because of that we truly can be the change we wish to see in the world.
Because oh puh-lease!! You’ve got this momma!!