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How to Love the Family Traditions You Already Have
With Easter fast approaching I have been thinking a lot about family traditions and values surrounding the holidays. As moms I think we are really hard on ourselves about creating the picture perfect Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook worthy holiday moments that sometimes we truly miss out on the joys and delight our children feel inside without going totally overboard. In order to keep our holidays simple and meaningful I came up with five ways to focus on what really matters on how to love the family traditions you already have.
Truth #1- our children aren’t holding us to some social media standard so why are we??
Thankfully my girls are still young and haven’t hit the stage that mom isn’t their best friend. They also haven’t discovered the overwhelming standard of social media and feeling like they have to measure up to an unattainable standard. As I was planning for this Easter but I pondered on what I was truly wanting to accomplish. What was my purpose?? What did I want to accomplish?? What did I want my girls to remember?? And I realized that I was hit with analysis of paralysis. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if everything didn’t look and feel picture perfect and worthy of the social media standard than it wasn’t good enough at all. I was letting fear of not measuring up be my excuse for not celebrating the holiday in the way I actually wanted to.
I will admit there are some friends on my private social media pages that I feel a tinge jealous of when they post their amazing play dates, awesome holiday traditions and home decor. My inner self screams that somehow no matter how hard I try that I’ll never measure up. Yikes that’s a scary place to be because it isn’t true!!
I have come to learn that our children are much more interested in the time spent playing together or the times of connection we have in celebrating the holidays rather than it being picture perfect. They don’t care if the floor hasn’t been vacuumed or their hair looks like they ran through a bush backwards. Our little people are more focused on the magic of the moment. Our attitude and presence matters so much Moreno that moment and that’s what our children will remember and celebrate.
Truth #2- The way you celebrate your holidays doesn’t have to be like anyone else!!
I feel like I might be a closet social media hater. Really I should write a post about the reasons why I hate it so much but I feel these is such a pressure on mom’s to conform to some unrealistic standard that it is stressing moms out in our already overly stressful world.
Growing up there were the typical holidays that my mom celebrated with us. We made huge butcher paper name posters for our birthdays, did scripture scavenger hunts for Easter, and aways adopted a family for Christmas who might not have anywhere to go for the holidays.
When I think back on these holiday traditions and memories there are some very clear things I can remember and some that seem muddled. But the reason I bring this up is because growing up there wasn’t the same pressure that moms have now and so we need to take back that power that the way we do things although they are different or not quite the same as our friends doesn’t make it bad.
Because let’s be honest momma has there ever been in a time in your life where you looked at how you had just celebrated a holiday to then see how others had celebrated that same holiday and feel like you haven’t measured up?? The truth of the matter is our families are different for a reason and we need to celebrate and embrace that rather than letting our insecurities consume us.
Truth #3- traditions can and will evolve over time
Now please don’t get me wrong. If you see a holiday tradition that you want to do with your family please by all means incorporate what you have seen.
Sometimes when I have been down on myself about how we have just celebrated something my Bosom Buddy gently reminds me to look at the season that I am in.
There are different seasons of motherhood and when you have young babes at home who rely on you for their care and attention means that how holidays are celebrated or or how many activities/ play dates are done will differ. These things will also differ depending on if there is just one adult around to do these said activities or two. During the summers when I had help available I could take my girls swimming at the local pool a lot because I could place babe in my wrap be in charge of one child while the other helper was in charge of another. However, in the days of single mommin’ it those activities might be as adventurous or might just look different than what they did previously and that’s okay. As my girls become older we can do some of those beloved activities again as they become more and more independent.
Truth #4- we choose to create the magic
Holidays wouldn’t nearly be as much fun if we as adults weren’t willing to play along and create the magic for childhood. I remember this past Christmas feeing a bit bummed because those magical feelings of Christmas weren’t the same as I had in my younger years. However, a beauty influenced that I followed shared her joy of being able to play an elf to create the magic in her home for Santa. She said something along the lines of its so much better to be on this side.
It made me realize and embrace the understanding that I had my years of magic as a child and it is now my turn to embrace the responsibility of creating the magic for my own littles. When I looked at creating the magic that way I realized just how sweet motherhood could be.
Truth #5- we only have a limited amount of time
I am about to get a little bit sappy!! I know you may keep hearing the days are long but the years are short and that is how I feel. We only truly have maybe 18 holidays to celebrate with our little people before they are moving on to college or out on their own. This means that we need to embrace the time that we do have with our babies even if it isn’t picture perfect.
When my girls grow up I want them to remember the magic, the laughter and fun. If they don’t remember those things than I have missed out on what I was trying to accomplish as a mom.
So dear sweet momma the next time that you fee totally overwhelmed by the holidays and making it Pinterest perfect I want you think of these 5 truths. Remember that we create our standard, we can embrace our own traditions even if they are different, that traditions evolve over time, that we create the magic and life is short.