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Why Motherhood is Still Important!!
Hey Momma, Have you ever had one of those awesome aha! moments?? It is as if a light has gone off and you totally feel as if a light switched on in your brain?? Total enlightenment, literally!! I had one of those moments this weekend that I really want to share with you. I had the opportunity to truly understand motherhood and how it is the greatest role to carry.
But wait!! Let’s start here. Are you where I was at?? Tired of all the responsibilities of being a mom?? Feeling totally overwhelmed and run down and exhausted?? Feeling a bit let down when motherhood wasn’t what you imagined?? Yeah, this was totally me too!!
As school began and routines needed to be put in place I was met with a lot of defiance. I had neighbours telling me that the way my girls were behaving and acting would never have been tolerated in their home. Talk about defeating… There is something about motherhood where everyone seems to feel that they need to tell their opinions on everything. And so when one bad day turned into two and then three, and then a couple of weeks passed I was starting to doubt myself as a mother. And then the sad truth of the matter hits that when you are being met with the same challenges day in and day out, you truly start to wonder if it is better for someone else to raise and care for them because maybe they could make a difference or influence your child in ways where you just can’t. Those are the questions I was asking myself because I truly felt inept!
And I guess the reason motherhood becomes so exasperating is because I have always viewed my job as motherhood as my number one priority and have always tried to keep my level of standard in equality with how I nannied back in the day. It is super hard to always give mothering your best and your all when motherhood is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. So it was not surprising I was starting to feel feelings of resentment for parenting as I dealt with some very real behavioral issues from my girls. I spent many nights and early mornings pleading with God to help me as I struggled to understand what it was that he wanted and needed me to do with these beautiful little ladies he had given me.
So, I looked to my momma for love and support. She directed me to ponder the scriptures and look into a book that was published by our church entitled, “Teaching, No Greater Call”. When she recommended the resource to me I kind of was puzzled as to why she would tell me to read a book about teaching. I know I dork out on teacher stuff but really?! A book for gospel teaching for parenting… To be honest, I kind of had my doubts.
But Mother Knows Best…
Because this resource totally changed my outlook on parenting, on motherhood, and on the heart breaking dreariness of hitting that same wall over and over as you struggle to get past that hurdle with your child who is fighting with you tooth and nail or repeating the same mistake over and over and over again because they seem to think they know better than you.
So, I came to realize and recognize that as spirits we were taught that when we came to earth we understood that we would not come to earth to just be tested and tried as an individual. Fighting on our own to make it back to God. Rather, we were expected to teach those around us and those who are in our realm of influence. We wouldn’t just be a mother (which in itself is a ton of different roles and responsibilities combined) we promised also to be teachers. We promised the Lord that we would be willing to teach our children Heavenly Father’s commandments and expectations of how we should live. Our role on earth is to return to live with Him some day and so we need to teach our children. As I read those words I realized that it was time that I approached motherhood in a whole new light.
And then the Answer came – Why Motherhood is Still Important
As I continued to pray about my mothering issues of defiance and my inadequacies I was prompted to choose a certain session of General Conference. April 2010 Sunday Afternoon Session. I turned it on and tears poured from my eyes. It was all about motherhood. The royal mantle that we are called to bear and the importance of motherhood. Here were men and women alike celebrating the importance of motherhood. And I didn’t feel so weary and down on myself. I felt I had renewed purpose because I felt as if motherhood was a direct call from Heavenly Father to bring us closer to heaven each day. My spirit renewed I felt I was ready to brush off my knees and keep trying. Jumping in with two feet to try again at the crazy wild ride of motherhood. I wish I had some amazing words to write that would totally change your soul too. But my words of love come from this, Heavenly Father has placed those children in your care. It was not by chance or mistake. Those children, your children that you have were given to you for a divine role and purpose. Remember that those babes are gifts from God and there is something that you both need to learn from one another. We need our children as much as they need us. Motherhood in itself is a refining fire helping us to become more like the Saviour.
I am not just a mother, I am a teacher
The Saviour came to the world to teach and lead by example. As teachers we are not expected to coddle our students. We are there to provide opportunities of growth through learning by challenging a child to gain another step of knowledge at a time that is just above where they are at, at that exact moment. As teachers we provide experiences where a child is tested just above their capabilities. Our focus or goal is to build a connection that allows our student to think for themselves as they are met with tough life experiences and jobs as they grow older. When we can approach motherhood this way it is a true game changer.
As mothers we ARE teachers. We teach our children how to talk, how to have manners, how to get themselves dressed, how to eat healthy nutritious foods, how to find activities that interest them. We teach them how to behave in public, how to be safe around dangerous household items like the stove and household chemicals. We teach our children of people who they should or shouldn’t trust. All day long we teach them and are so invested in their learning that sometimes I think we loose sight of ourselves as mothers.
So yesterday, I put on my teacher hat and laid aside my mother hat. Challenges of behavior and defiance were met with explanations of why. Other times it was trying to distract and redirect through a temper tantrum, just as teachers do. Other times I used my teacher hat to talk about the world around us and the importance of our bodies and work. The scolding lessened and I realized that my job as a mother had so much purpose and meaning as I became a teacher.
So if you are feeling the weariness of being a mother, pull out that teacher hat and teach your littles instead. That is the greatest role to carry. Be a mother and a teacher. Use these precious short years to teach your children how to be the best people they can be. Because that at the end of the day is why we are mothers. Because we need to teach them. To love them. And help guide them back to where we also want to be; together with our Heavenly Father.
Because oh puh-lease!! You’ve got this momma!!